As Valentine day approaches

"When women fall in love, their world becomes singularly focused on the object of their affection: Him. Their former relationships become backdrop"

You've heard the story before - your close friend meets someone. Falls deep. And then, hanging on to the balloon of love, floats right out of your life.

What's the deal with this? Why does the entrance of a new man (or new women for dudes out there)signals the exit for your friendship? It sometimes make me wonder: did the friendship really means anything to begin with?

I tend to fall victim to this pool of here is the exit sign friendship. I'm proud to say I never once let go of my friends just because of a new man. It's all about including the new man, not excluding your friends.

Why go to the bar with your single friend when you already have a man at home? Often the process is subtle, but slowly, hanging out with your friend during the weekend, going to any drinking outings or grabbing a coffee without the mention of "Him" is an anomaly.

But wait! This is not the last time you'll hear from your friend: when she's had a fight with him, or when he's already made other plans - you'll hear from her. I know this very well. It almost always happen to me, I become the best friend for the period of time until the cold war is over or he's back.

It strikes you:- you were only there as a fill in, an understudy.

As for the men, it's all together different. They are known as the pussy-whipped (excuse my language here) - submission to the ladies. It is also commonly describe as the initial male separation from their ever important Lads Faction.

Friendship among women plays a signifant role in reducing stress and promote well-being. The thing with women is we like to talk things out, talk things over. Women are generally hard-wired to cope with stress through friendship networks. Men on the other hand are often tagged as "lacking intimacy". They build trust amongst their mates, and they do it in a different way. Friendship is a major avenue of self-explorations.

So before you ditch your friend for bliss, think twice - inclusion, not exclusion.

ps: Good luck in love! xoxo